Prayer

I've been thinking a lot lately about "prayer". It's funny how something can change in your life and add a new dimension to something that you thought you had a pretty ironclad grasp on. Since Cam left for school I have had some insights into how God must feel sometimes. I am not saying that I am privvy to any more inspiration about God than anyone else, and I'm not saying I am on the same level as God - don't judge me just yet. I just developed some empathy for God and I want to allow that to help me deal with my own efforts at prayer, that's all.

Cam is having the time of his life at BYU. So, our relationship that seemed so close (and probably still is), has felt "changed" to me because I don't get to talk to him on a daily basis. He has things to do and (if I could stop dwelling on him) so do I. He calls us - but sometimes we have to prompt him with a text or note on FB. When we do talk, sometimes he is distracted by homework, or others in the room, or an activity that he is involved in. It has bothered me that he hasn't felt strongly enough about our relationship that he would need the prompting. I thought that he would feel a strong desire to tell us about things and hear our voices and just visit with the two people who love him more than anyone else. In this whole train of thought - right about here is where I started considering how God must feel about our (my) prayers (or calls home). He thought we were so close when we left Him to come here. He thought we would always stay in touch, that we would long to hear His voice above so many other distractions. He appreciates our rote, quick, repetative prayers but longs for us to put more time and effort into the communication - He expected so much more. (This is a very common analogy used in our church but I took it a little further.) Coming to this earth is just like going off to school - are we keeping in touch with our parents like we should? And not just because we are supposed to - but because we miss them and value that eternal relationship? So although I know God understands (He understands everything) that things here get hectic and we still love Him even though we get distracted (and I am trying to be like Him and be understanding toward Cam) - it has still made me want to try harder in my essential bond with Him. I don't want to cause him to "understand" - I want Him to feel my level of committment and love for Him by my focused efforts. That's all. Just thought I'd share what seemed kind of profound to me. I hope I explained it okay - sometimes profundity doesn't translate well.