Burdens

I have realized in the last few weeks that I really don't have anyone to talk to. I have lots of friends - all very willing and caring. But it has occurred to me that what people like about me is that I am happy and upbeat - fun to be around. I am a certain way with people. I have set limits on myself about exposing anything upsetting or depressing. I don't think people really like to hear my problems and I don't ever want to burden them. I may open up with someone and tell them what is going on - but I can't seem to bother them more than once or twice with the same problem or I feel like a nuisance. I feel like they don't like that side of me - that they are expecting me to bounce back quicker - to return to the me that they like. I almost feel like it scares them. I see them consoling others just fine - but it seems like they expect more from me. I even do this with family. I don't want to scare my son - so I always put on a brave happy face when I am around him. I think kids have enough problems to deal with - they shouldn't have to worry about their parents problems too. I guess I am being fake. So many people look at my life and think it is perfect - I don't want to disappoint them or cause them to worry about me. I can talk to my husband, and I do. But I can tell he doesn't really want me to - that it makes him uncomfortable. He is no different - he wants to see a certain Paige too.