A Step Forward

Today I start a new job. I have been home for over 12 years. Now that my son can drive himself to all of his various commitments I have more free time and a more predictable schedule. There is also the fact that I may have an actual life of my own (something everyone needs) when he leaves for college. This is a part time job at the Meals on Wheels in our town. I have been a volunteer driver for Meals on Wheels for 2 years. Now, I will coordinate the volunteer drivers. I really hope that the job has the same feel - because if it does I am going to love it. I look at this as a step forward. It's something new in my life that signifies "life goes on". Change is usually a good thing - at least it has always seemed like that to me. This job will allow less time for self introspection and aloneness that seem to be detrimental for me at this point. I just need to get out of my own head. Maybe some of these past weeks of upset have been kind of self-indulgent. Maybe I should focus my attention on others and I will begin to feel better about myself. A step forward is a positive thing - but, in all honesty I do feel slightly off balance going back to work after all this time.