Looking for a Pet

I seriously love animals. I want an animal in my life - my heart, my home. First there was Chelse, who died tragically when I was pregnant with Cam. It took me years to get over that, I still miss her. Then came Kit who we had for a few years but died suddenly almost a year ago, which also devastated me. When she first died - I wanted another cat that looked just like her to try and fool myself into thinking it was her. Our dog Chip died a few years ago and I wouldn't mind trying another dog either. Since Kit's death I have made several attempts to bring another pet into our family but it just doesn't seem to be working.

First we got a yellow lab that was really sweet but started eating the house and the automatic sprinklers - much the same as "Marley" in the book - except we can't afford that behavior and she had already been to obedience training. Then a friend foisted a crazy kitten on us and we learned that we are not "kitten" people. That fiend had two speeds - manic or asleep. Just yesterday I tried another cat on a trial basis - but it wasn't mine either. There is a certain feeling that comes when an animal is meant for you - and it has been missing in all these attempts. That feeling that you can put up with the shedding, the tracking in of dirt, the inconvenience of having bowls sitting in the middle of your kitchen, the arrangements for when you go out of town, the worry when illness strikes and the sure knowledge of the pain that their inevitable death will cause. It is much like the feeling one has for a new baby - unconditional love and care and a willingness to do for them. But the payback is unconditional too - a closeness that only comes from animals, an acceptance that no human can offer, a secret keeper, a companion whenever you need one and a being that knows you are not what your occasional negativity might portray you to be. I'm convinced that animals are better than humans - they are so consistant. I need MY pet - I just don't know where she is.