I don't know if I've ever told you the story of my "new" sister. I have an old sister (Kathy won't like that) who I grew up with (aka: fought with, bathed with and shared a room with) and then I have another sister that I just met a few years ago. My mom had a baby after me that she felt she wasn't really capable of taking care of because she already had her hands full with the three of us - so her doctor suggested that she give the baby up for adoption to a couple that he knew who had been trying to concieve for 10 years. It turned out that my mom and the adoptive father had gone to HS together and she knew who he was. Sandi is a year and a half younger than me and is like a walking time warp of my mother! Being around her is like being around my mother when I was Cam's age. I marvel at how similar they are when Sandi wasn't even raised by my mother?? (begs the question of nature vs. nurture).
Anyway, I guess it was 7 years ago that Sandi's adoptive mother died. She loved her mother and didn't want to chance hurting her feelings by searching for her birth mother when she was alive. When she died - Sandi decided to start her search. It took a couple of days - I guess because my Grandmother had already started searching for her.
So - it was 7 years ago that I first met Sandi. It was strange, a little awkward and kind of wonderful at the same time. Sandi is totally healthy about the whole thing and extrememly willing to understand and accept all of us - kind of like a family should.
It has profoundly changed my identity - I am no longer the youngest child as I was - I am no longer the one who looks like my mom the most. I have felt at times like I was the one who should have been given up because I have always been the "different" one anyway. But what would my life have been like had I grown up with this sister? We would have been close in school. I guess I can only think of positive things and I feel like I missed out. What would Mom's life have been like with a daughter so similar to herself? It seems like it would have been wonderful for her - but instead she got me who has been kind of an alien to her at times.
Whatever all of it means. . .I am glad for this new sister. Just another crazy thing that has happened in a life that has been full of crazy things!
3 comments:
that's interesting, Paige. She does look a lot like your mom.
And the whole Nature vs. Nurture thing is ALWAYS so interesting to me. So funny some of the personality traits that must be genetic rather than learned...crazy!
I forgot all about this situation!! I would definately have talked to you more about it! It doesn't seem like 7 yrs. tho. It is very sad that you weren't raised together. It does always bring the thoughts of "what if"..which are never productive so just know it was in Heavenly Father's plan and all turned out good!
It's really nice to see a picture of Sandi! Your story is so intriguing to me. It's so normal to always wonder about "what if" but at least this one seems to have a happy ending. I'm glad you're still communicating and visiting each other--I think that's really cool.
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