What Shapes our Politics

I know, we aren't supposed to talk about Politics or Religion. I think we aren't supposed to because these two things mean a lot to people and we could offend them if our views are different. I recently did just that, and so I have been thinking lately about how people arrive at their political views - it must be somewhat similar to the way that I arrived at mine.

Geography - I was raised in Northern California in the 60's and 70's. It is a very liberal place. Even if my family had republican leanings in finances and small government - they were very liberal in social issues. I don't think it's possible to be raised in a liberal place and not have liberal sympathies - or a conservative place without conservative sympathies.

Environment - Growing up I think we were pretty much allowed to "follow the dictates of our own consciences". The trouble with that thinking is that if nothing is considered "wrong" do we develop a conscience? In my childhood home there was very little considered "wrong" as far as social issues were concerned. We were taught to be nice, work hard, not to cheat, lie or steal but free to explore sex, drugs and rock and roll if we chose to, consequences to be faced if necessary.

Religion - no religion growing up. I joined the church in High School and this did (and does) affect my politics very much. I don't think people should look to the government for help except as a last resort. They should work to become self sufficient - if they need temporary help they should look to their family, their church (or support group) and then government. One of the main reasons I consider myself a republican is because I want and expect everyone to work. If you are disabled and you can not work that is different (and exactly who government programs were initially intended for) and the government should help - but if you are lazy and feel entitled to sit around while others work to support you - that offends my sense of fairness - and strains our society as a whole.

Education - I have a bachelors degree in History with a minor in English. I like to think that I have learned some things in my history studies, "those who don't are doomed to repeat it!" I think an education matures and hopefully evolves us - it forces us to ask ourselves questions about what we believe and why and historically, what political policies worked and which ones failed.

Parenthood - Parenthood (possibly more than anything else) has changed some of my views. I never really thought much about "regulation" prior to parenthood. Having a child has made me think about political hot buttons like pornography, entertainment, pedophilia, prostitution, abortion, second hand smoke etc. These things and many more need to be regulated. Our children are entitled to a childhood - they should be able to be innocent children during their childhood. I don't think pornography should be easily accessible. (I honestly don't think the founding fathers could even conceive of such a thing when coining the phrase "free speech".) I don't want a pedophile living next door without my knowledge and my (hypothetical) 16 year old daughter should have to get my permission for an abortion, my son should be able to change channels without seeing something violent or sexual during prime time, and when I go somewhere to eat I should be able to breath! I don't care so much about allowing someone freedom of speech (or expression) - if that speech is offensive to a child.

Occupation - I have worked as a caseworker for food stamps and medicaid. For most of that time my clientele were aged and disabled. I currently work for the Meals on Wheels program in my area. I love helping people, my problem is people who know the system too well and plot accordingly. The people who know that if they have one more baby their monthly income will increase this much etc. The people who only TAKE from the system and never give anything back. I have also been in the Army - which profoundly changed my views about foreign policy, US interests and all things military. There are some things worth fighting for and some that are not. I joined the military to pay for school, which it did. My own experience taught me that this option is available to any who wish to take advantage of it. I don't feel sorry for anyone who says they didn't go to college because they didn't have the money - I didn't have the money either, but where there is a will there is a way.

Experience - with age and time and different events in ones life comes experience. That is not to say that older people are always smarter than younger people. But they very well could be! They have seen things - they have learned things (hopefully). I know, at this age what constitutes happiness - better than I ever did in my twenties. I feel strongly that people still need to try to be and to do "good". There are some that choose the path of least resistance, others take a long hard trail - they logically will not end up at the same place or with the same things (and the person that chose the more difficult path should not have to hand over his reward to the person who chose the lesser path!).

Sometimes I am amazed at people's politics. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Obviously we all have experienced these categories differently. We will never all think exactly the same. The two party system is still the best thing going. All I ask of anyone is that you think out YOUR OWN politics - because although tradition is a good thing - it really doesn't belong in politics. Everyone has their own responsibility to think things through on their own...kind of like religion!

5 Things on My Desk Right Now

Sharon did this in her weekly "Friday 5" post. I thought it would be a good tag and since I can't think of anything to blog about this seemed fun.

1. Diet Coke - yes it is 6:21 in the morning and I am sitting here drinking my diet coke hoping to be able to go to the bathroom before I go run. Disgusting - but true. For those of you who run, you realize the importance of going to the bathroom (I hope you know which kind I'm referring to) before you get 5 miles away from your house, because if it hits you out there you are up a creek!

2. I just recently got a computer. Cory has an ailing one in his room - so I guess this will go in there when that one finally dies but for now "mine" is sharing a room with all my sewing and craft stuff. So, my sewing machine is right next to me on this long table. If this computer situation becomes permanent I will have to get an actual computer desk and a good chair.

3. A hilarious thing that I look at every day is some of those stacking cups for little kids. They were Cam's. I bought them at one of those disturbingly expensive toy parties (I'm thinking "Discovery Toys") that one of my friends hosted years ago when Cam was a baby. I bought the cheapest thing in the catalog. Cam did enjoy them - but I haven't had the heart to give them away because I always thought I would have another baby (plus the fact that they were so expensive!). So, here they sit. My baby is 16 - and he doesn't play with them anymore. (Now that I think about this strange item, I am asking myself why they are on this table and not in a box somewhere??)

4. There is a really cute picture of Cam that he made in (2nd grade?) school where his body is a butterfly and his head is an actual photo of him. He is still wearing glasses and looks like my "real" Cam. I love stuff like that - I have it all around the house. I don't know if he enjoys seeing it displayed as much as he used to.


5. I keep a calendar of Rome here (it is years out of date) - it is open to the Trevi Fountain page. I went to Rome a few years ago and had a fabulous time (and bought this calendar). Whenever I look up and see the fountain I can't really comprehend that I was there in that faraway place once - I touched that water - I ate that Pizza! - I walked all over that city. It is just a good memory so I keep it around me to induce daydreaming.

I'm not all that interesting am I? Now that I am looking at this list I'm thinking that I must be a sentimentalist or something, not nearly as practical a list as Sharon's was. I will tag anyone who is struggling to find something to blog about - but not Liz because she hates Tags.

Know-it-alls

There is a woman at work who knows everything. She will argue with me about my own religion (to which she does not belong), my politics (of which she does not agree) and even my own marriage (she has never met Cory and has only known me for 4 months). Seriously, do you know people like this? They have it all figured out - life, men (or women), kids, politics, religion and they rush to bestow their immense knowledge and enlightenment on the rest of us simpletons? Isn't it the human condition to be trying to figure it all out? We all have one thing in common - we are all just trying to get through it. No one has all the answers here. We are supposed to have questions, doubts and insecurities about one thing or another. I am suspect of know-it-alls, in fact it has been my experience that these folks seem to have the most messed up lives. If they have all the answers how come they can't seem to apply them? Luckily, today is her last day!

Looking for a Pet

I seriously love animals. I want an animal in my life - my heart, my home. First there was Chelse, who died tragically when I was pregnant with Cam. It took me years to get over that, I still miss her. Then came Kit who we had for a few years but died suddenly almost a year ago, which also devastated me. When she first died - I wanted another cat that looked just like her to try and fool myself into thinking it was her. Our dog Chip died a few years ago and I wouldn't mind trying another dog either. Since Kit's death I have made several attempts to bring another pet into our family but it just doesn't seem to be working.

First we got a yellow lab that was really sweet but started eating the house and the automatic sprinklers - much the same as "Marley" in the book - except we can't afford that behavior and she had already been to obedience training. Then a friend foisted a crazy kitten on us and we learned that we are not "kitten" people. That fiend had two speeds - manic or asleep. Just yesterday I tried another cat on a trial basis - but it wasn't mine either. There is a certain feeling that comes when an animal is meant for you - and it has been missing in all these attempts. That feeling that you can put up with the shedding, the tracking in of dirt, the inconvenience of having bowls sitting in the middle of your kitchen, the arrangements for when you go out of town, the worry when illness strikes and the sure knowledge of the pain that their inevitable death will cause. It is much like the feeling one has for a new baby - unconditional love and care and a willingness to do for them. But the payback is unconditional too - a closeness that only comes from animals, an acceptance that no human can offer, a secret keeper, a companion whenever you need one and a being that knows you are not what your occasional negativity might portray you to be. I'm convinced that animals are better than humans - they are so consistant. I need MY pet - I just don't know where she is.

An Answer to a Prayer

I mentioned to Cory just yesterday that half the time I don't even think Cam likes me anymore. It has been hard for me to have him become so independent and grown up. Although the sensible side of me knows that is what is supposed to happen. I don't think I have ever met another mother and son that are as close as we once were. He is my only child and we have spent a lot of time away from family and most often alone. We also have very similar personalities and we just have always seemed to get along and enjoy each other's company. We still do - it is just difficult to get a sense of how Cam feels about me. He gives me the cursory kiss and "love you" each night before bed - but I miss our old life when he needed me and enjoyed me above anyone else. (You guys with younger boys just wait!) I guess society expects boys to be tough and not sensitive and to not show too much emotion. So with that said - Cam is probably acting like he is supposed to - but sometimes it hurts and I miss my little boy who was sensitive and didn't mind showing it. Anyway, yesterday I was saying that to Cory while we were driving. I have been thinking about it a lot lately - worrying I guess. If I am not close to my only child what do I really have? So...this morning as I am going about emptying garbage's in all the bathrooms - just the Monday morning routine. I see this paper with writing on it, a school assignment of some kind, all crumpled up right on top of Cam's garbage. Yes, of course I smoothed it out to read it! Cory thinks that is wrong - I didn't give it a second thought. (If he really didn't want it read he would have torn it up right?) My heart stopped when I realized what it said - and really it was as if in answer to a prayer. It started with "I would have to say my biggest inspiration is my mom..." He goes on to say how he feels about me and that he hopes he can be like me someday. Aaagghhh - those moments of feeling appreciated are so few and far between when it comes to teenagers. I want to frame it! (But I don't want him to know I read it and not trust me with his garbage anymore - there may be future treasures there.)

Letter Tag - "R"

Layne gave me the letter "R" which she told me I am supposed to be thankful for because she first thought of giving me the letter "U". I wholeheartedly agree that I need to be thankful - because R will always be better than U (all I could think of for U is "Underwear").

I was thinking - Raisins, Rome, Relish, Roundabouts, Refreshing Rain, Rattan, Rigatoni - and then I remembered that I wasn't playing Scattagories with Layne and I better start thinking of some things that I actually love that start with "R".

1. Razors - I do like to be clean shaven pretty much all the time. I start to feel dirty if I can feel stubble on myself. But I cannot stress enough how I like a clean shaven man. I think it is because I enjoy kissing - and stubble burns (been there, done that!).

2. Religion - I feel like "religion" in general is a good thing. No matter the religion (I do happen to be fond of mine) I just think it helps guide people to try harder and to be more accountable.

3. Running - I love running. Even though I ran before - my love of running started in the Army - it is so fun to run in formation with all the runners yelling cadences -the sound of all those feet landing at exactly the same time - nothing like it! Running allows me to stay in tune with my body and to work things through in my mind.

4. Reading - I love to read! I truly believe that reading makes better people. People who can understand differnt perspectives - compassionate people. We can experiece things through reading we might never experience first hand. Readers understand the world and the indiviual better. And few things bond children to parents like reading together.

5. Red - one of the best and strongest colors. It is so symbolic - so strong, solid and bold!

6. Rest - no need to elaborate.

7. Relaxation - a reasonable follow up to #6.

8. Romance - this deserves to be higher up on the list (now that I think of it they probably aren't in order of favorites). I guess I think that love makes the world go round. And romance is just the icing on the cake!

9. Restrictions - I have never been one to shy away from restrictions. I like guidelines and authority. I know it seems crazy, but I actually know first hand that someone (perhaps even God) loving you enough to set limits is a good thing.

10. Rings - when I was little I had a ring on every finger. I also went through a toe ring phase. The first place I go to at the jewelry counter is always the rings.


That was pretty painless!

Ugly Glasses

I think I've mentioned before that I can't see. I have Macular Degeneration - which is an eye disease that is prevalent mostly in older people. Lucky me - I was diagnosed around 30! I had better than 20/20 vision my whole life! So when this started kicking in it was obvious right from the start that there was a problem. Both my mom and my grandma have it. There are so many things that I did not inherit from them - why did it have to be this? Anyway, I can't see things up close. So it is hard to read or sew or do anything that requires precision or scrutiny. The biggest problem with this condition is that there is no prescription that will help - so contacts are out. There is no cure for this disease yet and no medication or surgery that can repair it. Really the only option is magnifiers. So, I get them at Walmart or wherever. Once you get past a certain amount of magnification - glasses start to get thick and the magnification shows itself in the reverse as well. Meaning the eyes wearing the magnifiers get magnified. So, when I wear the glasses that I can see the best in, my eyes look huge - deformed actually!

The conflict comes as I make the choice (several times a day) as to whether I want to look like myself (like I think of myself looking - which is minus glasses) - or if I want to be able to see. Basically, do I want to feel pretty or like a big geek! I know, it seems very vain and even silly. I just haven't gotten to the place yet - where I have accepted the fact that I am getting old and glasses are just part of the picture. I see older ladies at church or whatever that have accepted or possibly even embraced their eye wear. In church I can't even make out the face of the person speaking at the pulpit - but I refuse to wear them all through sacrament meeting. I also refuse to walk the halls with them. Two Sundays ago I was sitting outside the Bishop's office talking to a friend and a man about 15 feet away waved at me. I saw him wave - I just didn't recognize him (cause I couldn't see his face) so I didn't realize he was waving at me till my friend asked me if I knew him. (Sorry Bro. McIntosh.) So, I guess it's getting to the point where I may be offending people and appearing rude! I probably better just wear the glasses.

P.S. My mom said I should get one of those chains to wear around my neck, then I can take them on and off but have them handy whenever I need them. I think I'd rather have them on my face than look like I'm 90 with one of those hideous chains!