I think I've mentioned before that I can't see. I have Macular Degeneration - which is an eye disease that is prevalent mostly in older people. Lucky me - I was diagnosed around 30! I had better than 20/20 vision my whole life! So when this started kicking in it was obvious right from the start that there was a problem. Both my mom and my grandma have it. There are so many things that I did not inherit from them - why did it have to be this? Anyway, I can't see things up close. So it is hard to read or sew or do anything that requires precision or scrutiny. The biggest problem with this condition is that there is no prescription that will help - so contacts are out. There is no cure for this disease yet and no medication or surgery that can repair it. Really the only option is magnifiers. So, I get them at Walmart or wherever. Once you get past a certain amount of magnification - glasses start to get thick and the magnification shows itself in the reverse as well. Meaning the eyes wearing the magnifiers get magnified. So, when I wear the glasses that I can see the best in, my eyes look huge - deformed actually!
The conflict comes as I make the choice (several times a day) as to whether I want to look like myself (like I think of myself looking - which is minus glasses) - or if I want to be able to see. Basically, do I want to feel pretty or like a big geek! I know, it seems very vain and even silly. I just haven't gotten to the place yet - where I have accepted the fact that I am getting old and glasses are just part of the picture. I see older ladies at church or whatever that have accepted or possibly even embraced their eye wear. In church I can't even make out the face of the person speaking at the pulpit - but I refuse to wear them all through sacrament meeting. I also refuse to walk the halls with them. Two Sundays ago I was sitting outside the Bishop's office talking to a friend and a man about 15 feet away waved at me. I saw him wave - I just didn't recognize him (cause I couldn't see his face) so I didn't realize he was waving at me till my friend asked me if I knew him. (Sorry Bro. McIntosh.) So, I guess it's getting to the point where I may be offending people and appearing rude! I probably better just wear the glasses.
P.S. My mom said I should get one of those chains to wear around my neck, then I can take them on and off but have them handy whenever I need them. I think I'd rather have them on my face than look like I'm 90 with one of those hideous chains!
6 comments:
Well after my email...would you look at me!
I didn't know you couldn't see people far away. I thought it was just up close. I always forget you have this disease because you never complain and it seems so scary to me, yet you handle yourself so well. I'm not a glasses kind of girl either. So if my eyes get to the point that I can't see with contacts after having my radialkeratotomy...wrong spelling I'm sure. Then I'll just accept not seeing either. I hope the medical field comes up with something for you soon Paige. Sight is so precious.
And I just have to say that if you're cute with out glasses then you'll still be cute with them. And you are a beautiful woman. My favorite little lady is a temple worker and she has the pearl eyeglass chain. She is sooo dang cute, and I told her so.
your eyes do NOT look deformed. I tihnk you're a doll.
Seriously- you're cute.
I totally understand about the vanity thing though. For women, it's important to FEEL pretty.
I would persoanlly hold off on the chain,... but that's just moi.
PS Consider yourself tagged my friend. You need to think of ten things you love that start with the letter R. And be grateful I'm feeling generous... the first letter I thought of was U...
Was it Erin that saw you without glasses one day and said, "Wow! You look pretty without your glasses!" We all laughed about that for the rest of the day. I don't think your eyes look goofy when they're magnified. You have such gorgeous eyes that I think they just look better. But, I can understand how you are self-conscious about it because it's you. If it was me with the condition I would feel the exact same way.
Sometimes when I'm having a really zitty day or a bad hair day, I'm glad I have one friend who likes me for who I am and not what I look like.
Liz - I hope you were saying that "I" am that friend? Maybe you were talking about Jesus or something??
um...no chain. the glasses are fine, though. You always look good, and very young. seriously, that's what I have been thinking about your facebook picture since you asked me to scrutinize it...You don't age!
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